Beah, like Leah with a B.
I was born into a family that had everything. I could have anything I wanted, all I had to do was point to something and my Dad would buy it for me. My family owned a company in Juntaburi that dealt in diamonds and precious stones. We were known as some of the richest people in the province.
When I was a young teenager, my Mom and Dad were criminally charged and we lost everything, even our house. We had nowhere to live. My little brother and I went to Bangkok to go to high school there. We rented a tiny room for the two of us, about 12 feet square. Our lives went from having all the food we could eat to having to share a bag of Mama noodles between us. We would boil it and share it. Poverty is a sadness that you never forget.
Back in my elementary school years in Juntaburi, my Dad had enrolled me in a Catholic school. Every Friday we had Religion classes. We were Buddhists so I was supposed to learn about Buddhism. My Dad was very strict about this, I was to study with the Catholics to learn English and nothing more. But in the student roll call, there was no indication of which religion you belonged to. The Buddhists were to go to the main auditorium while the Catholic kids went to the church. I would run into the church. I had no reason, just that I felt drawn, and the more I was scolded, the more I wanted to be in the church.
Jumping ahead to when I was about 23, Pastor Ronald and Cynthia, Victory Asia missionaries from the Philippines, moved in next door to me. I felt like, “here comes those Christians again.” And they preached the gospel to us. I understood what they were saying but I had no foundation to build faith on. In Thailand, we have no concept of salvation so I didn’t believe at that time.
I finally believed in Jesus some years later when I was in the most desperate time of my life. I was suicidal every day. I felt like this world was a terrible place to be. This wasn’t my world, there was no place for me here. I couldn’t figure out why God would make such a terrible world. I tried to take my life with medicine and ended up in the hospital, I tried to hang myself but the knot came loose. As Buddhists, we always pray, and every time I went to pray I would find myself thinking about God, so much so that I feared I was going crazy. So I prayed to God, “If you are the god that made this world, please let me meet the god, any god who can show me the way to a life where I don’t have to think about killing myself every day.
When my young son needed to go to school I contacted Victory School. There I met Teacher Som and Teacher Becky, and thought, “There they are again, those missionaries are everywhere!” Again, this was a time in my life when I was overwhelmed with problems. That night I got down on my knees and prayed, “Father, it doesn’t matter what you do with my life, just let me be your child.”
I was baptized in water this week because I want to be a genuine Christian, not just someone who says, “I’m a Christian,” but I want to follow the Word of God and the commandments of God. I want people to know that I am a daughter of God. My life has dramatically changed. Remember when I told you my brother and I had to share one package of soup? Not anymore, in fact, I might be getting a little fat. But the best part is that I used to feel so worthless, suicidal like the smallest ant was greater in stature than me, I believed its life was worth more than mine. Now I see my life as very valuable. I read the Bible daily and when I have questions I talk to Pastor Sawang or others on the leadership team. Now I am growing constantly and my life is so exciting.
Baptism with Pastor Ronald and Pastor Sawang.
